


Adventurers Anonymous

by ItsYa1UPBoy



Series: The Crow Calls (Oneshots) [8]
Category: Etrian Odyssey IV: Legends of the Titan, Etrian Odyssey Series
Genre: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Profanity, also included are some throwaway characters, also included: one harshly honest plot summary of romeo and juliet by an imperial historian, but not actually on screen, discussion of sex, neferet and marelda show up in one that i haven't published yet, or in which miku gets called out on her bs, that did not happen but should have by all accounts, that i like to use as passing faces, the f/f and m/m are mentioned
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 10:32:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15459405
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ItsYa1UPBoy/pseuds/ItsYa1UPBoy
Summary: As the only two members of Guild Muninn who seem to capable of being forthright with their feelings, Lis and Miku can’t help but find the shyness of their comrades vexing. And that’s why they started Adventurers Anonymous, so that they can destress and vent their problems. Or is it really more of a gossip circle…?





	Adventurers Anonymous

**Author's Note:**

> See if you can spot any references to prompts that I’ve done from TheShatteredRose~

Miku swirled her cup of tea with a sigh.

“I just don’t understand those two,” she said exasperatedly. “What good is there in dancing around your feelings?”

The other explorers at the table nodded sympathetically.

“Well, not everyone’s as forward as you two,” a silver-haired dancer replied. “After all, they aren’t caught up in the heat of teenage love~”

“Or the heat of other things,” the auburn-haired swordswoman at her side muttered. The dancer stifled a snicker to keep her beer from spewing out her nose. Miku blushed blade-silver, while Lis groaned and put his hand to his forehead.

“In the end, it is their choice, is it not?” a tall male Vessel at the end of the table asked. “Humans are strange- they tend to keep too many secrets and avoid their feelings -but they will do as they are fit to do.”

“You haven’t met Marianne, then,” Lis mumbled. “She’s too damn honest for her own good.”

Miku smirked behind her teacup.

“Obviously she’s not _that_ honest or she would’ve told Wiglaf how she feels already,” the dancer said, leaning back in her chair and resting her feet on the wooden table. “If you’re so worried about her keeping it pent up until Wiglaf leaves for new lands, then just do that matchmaking stuff you did with Whirlwind and Edge.”

Lis and Miku looked at the dancer in confusion before remembering that the two former guardsmen hadn’t told many other people their real names. Gossip usually travelled fast in Tharsis, but their true identities seemed to be mostly under wraps for now, and out of courtesy, Lis and Miku still used their aliases at their support group (which was more of a gossip circle than anything).

“That didn’t work…” Lis grumbled, crossing his arms with a sigh. “That was just Miku being mischievous and making things _more_ awkward between them, if it can be believed.”

Miku shrugged and sat her teacup down on its saucer. “I’ll maintain to my dying days that letting up gave them that push that they needed.” She smirked. “That, and the honeymoon suite.”

The swordswoman choked on her beer, and the Vessel’s glass of water froze on his lips. The dancer nearly fell out of her chair in shock.

“The WHAT?!” the swordswoman shrieked; bar patrons briefly glanced over at their table in the corner. Lis chuckled.

“That’s right, we never told you all about that little incident, did we…? Miku, I’ll let you have the honors.”

He glanced over at his girlfriend. A shit-eating grin spread across Miku’s face.

“The honeymoon suite… That wouldn’t work for Marianne and Wiglaf, since they don’t stay in the same area of the inn, but…”

She steepled her fingers, deeply contemplating her next words.

“I gave Dalla a nice payment towards the expansion… Later that evening, an accident happened with the cleaning supplies in Logre and Havardr’s rooms… And the only room that Dalla had left at the time was the honeymoon suite.”

Miku winked, still grinning. The others at the table gasped and stared at her in awe.

“And THAT didn’t get them moving in the right direction?!” the swordswoman yelled. Her companion quietly pulled her beer away from her. “They didn’t even _fu_ \---?!”

“ _Marelda!_ ”

Marelda blushed.

“S-sorry, Neferet…” she muttered, rubbing the back of her neck and glancing down shyly at her lap. Neferet sighed and shoved the beer in the direction of the Vessel to guard.

“Surprisingly, no, they didn’t fuck,” Lis replied, sitting his own stein down. “They didn’t even admit their feelings for each other.”

“Not everybody’s a bunch of horny teenagers…” Neferet mumbled, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Feelings dependent on their lust…”

The blonde man at the table, dressed rather inappropriately for the summer weather, finally spoke up for the first time. “This isn’t _Romeo and Juliet_ , which is probably for the best. Otherwise everyone would be dying left and right.” He waved his hand vaguely.

“What’s... _Romeo and Juliet_?” the Vessel asked. The mage shrugged.

“Ancient story. Two horny teenagers think they’re each other’s true love, decide to fake their own deaths so they can elope, and end up killing themselves for real, and their idiocy also gets several people close to them killed as well.”

“So you can read the ancient texts, then?” Marelda asked with a suspicious look. The mage shrugged again.

“I’m from the Empire; of course I can. I wasn’t known as a top historian for _nothing_.”

Marelda frowned.

“A-anyways, we’ve gotten _way_ off-topic,” Miku cut in. “My whole point is… I want to see Marianne and Wiglaf happy before Wiglaf leaves for fresh waters.”

“Seems to me like they’d be happier without broken hearts and waiting lovers,” the mage mused. “But that’s just my two cents.” Miku frowned and swirled her tea, staring down at her murky reflection in contemplation.

“I think that would be best too…” Lis replied. “I’m not going to tell Miku she has to feel one way or the other on it… But unlike L… Whirlwind and Edge… Wiglaf and Marianne have very different futures imagined for themselves. Marianne wants to work at her father’s place and mentor new explorers; Wiglaf wants to see new lands and make her ancestors proud. So it would be best if things stayed as they are, in a precarious balance.”

The other explorers nodded in agreement, except for Miku. She sat there for a while longer before finally sighing and setting her tea down.

“I know that you’re all right… I just...can’t help but want them to be happy _together_ … But deep down I…”

She sighed again and put her hands on her knees.

“I know you’re right, Flemming… But I still… I still feel like it’s better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all… To have spoken the truth and suffered for it, than to have kept silent and stayed safe…”

Flemming nodded sympathetically. “I understand, I really do. But I must say that you’re unlike any other Vessel I’ve met. They’re honest like you, but a lot more logical. Like Jinyi here...”

He nodded to the Vessel at the end of the table.

“But you can’t keep interfering in the relationships of others… Sure, it’s cute at first, maybe even funny, but someday it’s going to blow up in your face. In fact, I’m surprised it hasn’t already…”

Miku closed her eyes, face flushing with embarrassment. Lis glanced over at her.

“I know…” Miku whispered. “I know, Flemming… I just can’t help but want for everyone to be happy.”

“Lots of stories act like the only happy ending is where everyone is paired up, but that’s not the case at all. Some people are more fit for the single life; others may be better suited to someone they’ve not yet met. Let these feelings develop on their own… Don’t push them.” 

Miku nodded. 

At the bar, Kirtida stared intently at the group of explorers, watching them to make sure that she didn’t need to intervene. But they were talking quietly now, their voices blending into the din of the bar. She glanced over at a hooded explorer whose blonde bangs were falling into her eyes.

“You see, Marianne? It’s not _just_ a gossip circle… They really do give each other advice.”

The hooded explorer nodded, toying idly with a small wooden amulet.


End file.
